SHE WAS NOWHERE NEAR HIS MOUTH
No wonder she looks so happy.
He was going for his waist before Altivo interrupted.
Not only did they get crunk but the second they smoked a… special cigar, this shit started happening:
Don’t get me started on El Dorado.
ahh yes grandma’s in town time to pretend i’m still a straight christian female
aww yes grandma went home time to be a pansexual genderfluid atheist again
I’d never, ever hurt a lady but I’d be happy to punch a feminist.
It’d bring me great joy.
I’m 6’2 and weigh 180lbs
ready when you are
Or if you’d like to have some more options….
and have 9 years of combined martial arts training and 3 years of being a Line Backer in football.
Just in case you are looking for variety.
what about a lady and a feminist. warning, combatives certified soldier.
I wonder if any of my friends had a crush on me but then got to know me and were like “haha no, dodged a bullet there.”
im in the mood to receive a check for six hundred thousand dollars
so hey fun fact for anyone who wants queer history trivia: the first disco in Seattle was opened in 1973 and was a gay bar called “shelly’s leg” and it was named after a dancer named shelly who lost her leg in a confetti cannon accident and used the insurance/lawsuit settlement money to open a gay disco.
in class i’m used to sitting in the back and making all these smartass comments under my breath
now i’m in the front though so when our attractive instructor drops something and says ‘ah, fuck me!’ and i say ‘maybe later’ he hEARS ME AND LAUGHS GODFUCKING FUCK
the saga continues today in physics when our instructor asks ‘and how fast does light travel?’ and i whisper ‘hella’ and the kid next to me fucking loses it
what if you were looking at your alarm clock one day and it was 11:59 PM but then it turned to 11:60 PM
am i even good at kissing this is a serious concern of mine
it doesnt matter if the glass is half full or half empty all that matter is if the glass contains vodka
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